Pulling threads

Haverim,

Before I reflect on Ramallah and the last few days I would like to pull together a few threads of experiences.

Thank you David Lewis for reminding about our trip to Bethlehem. Indeed, in order to get to get to Bethlehem, we had to traverse through a narrow gap in the wall. Marc Crenshaw was my partner that day and I remembered gasping at what a horrible feeling it was. My eyes welled up in tears, as Marc put his hand on my shoulder. It was also a bit of a shock because no one had prepared us for this. The bus was abuzz, clearly many of us had a reaction. Later that night we were asked to check in about our experience. While many people shared about different things, which would not be appropriate for me to discuss, I spoke on the wall.

I shared with the group how the Wall was such a sad thing to witness. On one hand, I knew how it impacted people's lives and livelihoods. It separates neighborhoods that were once adjacent, but now takes a timely circuitous route to arrive. This means family and friends are now distant from each other. Travel time to jobs are increased and in some cases many impossible. Poverty has increased. On the other hand, I also recognize the relief in terror attacks that the wall has brought. It leaves me with the question of its necessity. Many of the other Jews on the trip are certain of its importance. I cannot say that I have this kind of certainty. Does it increase more hatred? More safety? More division? A haunting suggestion made by an Israeli speaker was that when the wall is complete will the 3rd intifada arise from within: the Israeli Arab citizen? No wall will be able to be built around them.

On the second go round, I also shared with the whole group the challenges for me as a gay man taking this trip encountering people who didn't know like my roommate Omer. Choosing whether or not to disclose when I was feeling so vulnerable in the first place just being in Jerusalem. I reflected on my first trip to Turkey when people were very upset that they may have to room with a gay or lesbian person since there were 4 out of 46 of us were. I reminded folks that while I knew my identity presented a religious or spiritual issue for them, it was in large part my experience as a gay man dealing with discrimination that allows me to open my heart to the other. The part that celebrates their difference comes from knowing my own. The part of me that is open to them in fact, is the part that many of them reject. As it says in the Torah, "Do not oppress the stranger, because you know the heart of the stranger."

Luckily, this has put people much more at ease. Though the 2 people who were not there, were my roommate Omer, and another guy Mansoor. Mansoor is a Muslim man in his twenties who studied in Syria for 4 years. He has an incredible devotion to his faith, speaks Arabic and has an incredibly open heart. The hilarity is that he was my seat partner the day after I shared with everyone. Shortly after he sat down next to me on the bus, he said, "So are you married?" I said, "No." "Is there a lucky lady?" "No." I was thinking how much I did not want to have this conversation. But ultimately, I thought, I needed to. "Mansoor, this my be distressing to you, but you should know in missing last night's group discussion, you missed my answer to your questions. I am a gay man." His response was completely enlightening. He relayed that earlier in his life he was much more immature in his response. He would have been upset. But he has met some gay Muslims in his travels and since then has come to the conclusion that it is not for him to judge, rather it is for Allah. We continued to talk and had a great day. He has been one of the people I have felt has brought a sense of calm and openess to this pilgramage.

The itinerary today is unclear and I am being called to the breakfast. Clearly, the ramallah visit and the ensuing meeting with a former Israeli intelligence officer currently working for the American Jewish committee is still stirring around me. I don't mean to be so vague, but I have so much to say.

I will write again today if I can.


Warmly,

Joshua